[Long silence]

Boo!

Bet I scared you, didn’t I?

Well, I’m sorry if it caused a resurgence of your heart condition. I didn’t know any better. I mean, I do it basically all the time, this surprise popping out at people, but no one has fainted or vomited or died yet.

I grew up around flashy cones, but flashy isn’t really my style. I like to disappear, like that Metallica song from one of those Mission Impossible films starring Tom Cruise. I’d rather be seen, not heard. Well, at least until I’m ready to jump out and startle someone.

I’ve always been a fan of the gotcha kind of surprise. I guess Katie Couric and I are similar in that way. Except I don’t think she hides in bushes, camouflaging herself to fade into the foliage until HAHA here I am! But I’ve never met her, so I don’t know what she does in her down time.

I had three brothers and one sister and they were always coning around, being the center lanes of attention. Not me. I wait for my moment. I lurk like a conical jungle cat, hiding, stalking until just the right moment to make my debut.

Then, I go back to hiding until the next time. But I’ve already left my impression on you.

I fade from view but not from mind.

I am Cone Alone.

I belong in Hyde Park.